What a paradox! It is so challenging to become immune to the happiness and love that have emerged from the art of coupelehood and so easy to destroy it due to intolerance to the otherness. The art of couplehood relies on love for the other and the willingness of both partners (e.g., spouses, parent & child) to respect their otherness and separateness at all times, and to learn how to be together. Since proximity and intimacy are inevitably followed by separations, differences of opinion and even clashes, ideally these must be contained and tolerated. Re-joining requires an incessant process of refining and taming, fuelled by a wish for reconciliation.
“The Enigma of Childhood”, reveals step by step, how this bug in our decision making processor is actually a product of a survival mechanism one that I define as our emotional immune system. This mechanism demonstrates the birth and development of narcissism, which aims to balance the forces of destruction and construction in, childhood, couplehood and parenthood. The reader is invited to take part in this journey and discover the secret door which solves the enigma, by acknowledging that the capacity to be happy and loved depend on our ability to tolerate the otherness of our partners.
*You can buy The Enigma of Childhood: The Profound Impact of the First Years of Life on Adults as Couples and Parents on Amazon.com and Karnac Books. Available in paperback or ebook format.